Young People Aren’t So Different: Common Ground Beyond Age
Exploring the Shared Values and Desires Across Generations
Older people always seemed so foreign to me. They looked, acted, and, in some cases, smelled different. Now, having lost the elders of our vast family – my parents, aunts, and uncles - I realize that I am the ‘old’ person in the room. Do I look that foreign to my child, her friends, and their friends?
Yet, when I look at younger people, I feel we share the same values and are more similar than different in many ways.
Yes, I shop differently. I’m just starting to use AI and have never had a gig worker job. But, young and older share a fundamental desire for community, purpose, self-expression, autonomy, and flexibility—which younger generations are now claiming earlier than older generations.
The Universal Desire for Connection, Expression, and Flexibility
Last year, I spoke with 30 people over 50, and no matter what life these adults lived, there was an overwhelming need to preserve the bonds of friendship and maintain community at all costs. “I wish I could just live on an island with my friends, as they are what sustain me every day,” said one interview respondent.
Many of the individuals I spoke with sought a deeper level of self-expression—something that younger people excel at—now that the burden of a career or raising children was behind them: “I feel like there is more to me that I want to explore and more to say. Now I have time, I can step back and do that.” This makes me wonder if we are too busy suppressing our own selves in the throes of our early and mid-career, only for us to emerge older but youthful again.
Finally, most looked forward to a more flexible, less rigid lifestyle, which younger people champion now more than ever. As one person said, “I’ve got things I want to do; I can’t sacrifice everything for the sake of any job—I need one that means something but doesn’t take everything if I am going to work for someone else.”
What is Truly Different: Time
Despite these commonalities, we ‘more experienced’ people understand the time-value continuum better because we are closer to the end. With a stronger sense of finite time, we let go of our need for validation, embrace our authenticity, and worry less about extrinsic factors. Later years are all about us. When we were younger, purpose was important but not at the expense of accumulation and validation. Now that we are older, we can put purpose in the spotlight because we can step back and appreciate our achievements.
The Upshot
For many years, age defined who we hung out with and our perceptions of others. Now, we need to dismantle the age barriers and connect on our shared, fundamental values, knowing that intergenerational relationships create positive effects for both the young and the old.